Now that I’m taking care of my first child I feel as if I need to defend my baby’s existence in this world. Especially to people who don’t have children of their own. Not to say that I’m going to stop associating myself with all my childless friends, but I will admit I do feel more comfortable being around my friends who have children or I know are good with young ones. I feel like they understand when I talk of my frustrations with parenting and share stories that they can relate to. I don’t want to be that one girl trying to have a conversation with her girlfriends but can’t talk about anything besides what weird or funny things her child did in the last 24 hours. I’m still cool! I’m hip, I’m with the times!
…Right?
Somethingsomething pop culture, somethingsomething I know, right?!
Before Aiden, I loved the freedom of being able to go to Walmart or Target by myself to spend as much time as I wanted there. Everytime I enter the store I’d hear a child having a meltdown in the middle of the store and the mom trying to take care of her kid then thinking to myself, I’m so glad I don’t have children right now!
Now I’m on the other side of that situation. I’m the mom with a child about to have a meltdown. I’m the one having to drop everything to hold my child, do everything in my power to soothe him, to make him feel better. I’m the person who childless people will walk past and think to themselves, I’m so glad I don’t have children right now.
And you know what? It’s okay. It’s life. But I feel like I have to apologize for my baby and explain why he does the things he does. He’s new to this world. He’s fragile. He doesn’t know how to deal with things. You understand, right? You were a baby once. You cried while your mom was trying to shop and she had to put on a brave face while she did what she could to get you through it. Even if it meant allowing you to shake that noisy toy for what feels like 15 minutes straight or whenever the rest of us feel the blood pouring out of our ears just to keep you happy.
I really don’t know where i’m going with this. It’s 1 a.m. and my baby still hasn’t begun sleeping through the night, he has night terrors in the daytime, and I’m perpetually tired. But it’s okay and I love my baby.
One of my fears of becoming a new mom was that you wouldn’t associate me with being your mother.
For the first three months of your life I shared caregiving responsibilities with my mom and sister. My mom especially was dedicated to making sure you stayed a really happy baby and you took all your naps in her arms. I didn’t mind because it allowed me to eat my meals, take a shower once every few days, and take naps myself. She didn’t mind either, she loves being your grandma.
In your second month I nursed you every two hours. You were a hungry mofo, you know. Everytime I nursed, changed your diaper, bathed, or spend any amount of time alone with you I would remind you who I am.
“Hi Aiden! I’m your mommy! MOMMY.“
I basically reintroduced myself to you everytime we had contact.
Seriously, I was paranoidworried that my mom was spending more quality time with you than I was and in turn you’d see her as a mother figure instead of me. I was not going to let that happen. NEVER. I wanted to make sure you knew exactly who I was and didn’t forget it.
Now you know the word “mommy” whenever someone says it and you know whose face to look for. Mommy feeds you. Mommy makes you smile. You expect to be put to bed by your mommy.
I think my plan worked. A little too well.
I can’t even go out on a date with your dad because I need to be home by 9 pm or else you start screaming BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!!! AN OLD LADY IS TRYING TO PUT ME TO BED!! DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE!
You’re only 5 months old but you’re already manipulative and controlling. Congratulations.
I still love you and your thunder thighs. Happy 5 months!
Everyone and their momma who has an iPhone is going crazy with the Hipstamatic app right now to make their iPhone pictures look vintage. I don’t have an iPhone so I can’t use Hipstamatic for my photos but I can still HIP-ify my photos with the Poladroid program.
What I like about the software is that it makes my pictures look like the distinct Polaroid picture with the white border and the space at the bottom to write something. In addition it adds character to each photo by making the photo look like it was taken with an instant camera and the funny part is that it’ll add a “fingerprint” or two to really make it look like it was actually taken from a Polaroid and handled by a person. The program is easy to use once you download and install it. The interface is just a Polaroid camera image that is docked to your desktop then you can go into your document folders to find files, drag, and drop onto the camera for it to develop. It’s really fun to use, with sound effects and all.
When your Poladroid photos are “developed” you can add them to the Flickr group for others to see.
If you’d rather spend your weekend inside with an air conditioner or a fan directly blowing on your face while all the chumps go out in the heat, you can spend the whole weekend browsing Style Like U.
I’m completely obsessed with what people have in their closets, especially the most stylish people I know of and this website gives us a peek into what some of those people have in their wardrobes. There’s a long roster of names of the most intriguing people from Andrew Mukamal, our favorite assistant to Kelly Cutrone, to RZA, one of the founders of Wu Tang Clan, to blogger of Garbage Dress, Zana Bayne.
By the way, Kelly Cutrone shows us her closet at Bluefly Closet Confessions. And her little cutie Ava shows off her pink wardrobe too!
No matter how many people try to tell Aiden he needs to crawl before he starts walking, he ain’t listening. The boy wants to get up and go! As soon as he learned to support his own head so I can pull him up into sitting position, he wants me to pull him up on his feet.
Tummy time? No time for it. Learn to sit up first? Sitting is for chumps! I have to get out there because there are lots of gorgeous little ladies waiting in line to get at me!
I don’t know who this baby has been talking to but he’s growing too fast for me.
So I’m a big hugger. I like to hug people. I hug my family and friends and bffs and old classmates. I even hugged the nurse at Planned Parenthood who showed me there was a fetus in my belly when I was excited and confused and had suicidal thoughts running through my head.
Hugfest party of one!
Apparently now I’m also an arm rubber. I ran into an old classmate on saturday and I met his girlfriend who later became his fiance by the end of the night. I was a big ole bag o’ happiness to meet her and when I hugged him goodbye I also hugged his girlfriend then rubbed her arm. What the frig? It’s as if I can’t convey the love coming out of me well enough I have to show it in every hand gesture possible.
Aiden is very stimulated by everything nowadays. Just now he screamed at Mike Rowe in a tire commercial. CALM DOWN KID, IT’S JUST TIRES YOU CAN’T EVEN DRIVE YET! I’m guessing it’s about that time to get him an activity gym because he loves things dangled above his head.
This week has been very active in Paris because the Fall 2010 Couture presentations have been showing. These are some of my favorite looks from the following design houses but there are more to be seen at the Style website.
I’m unsure of what I think about Chanel. It’s like a combination platter of Chanel meets grunge-era Marc Jacobs meets the puffiness of Viktor + Rolf meets garden club meets… something else.
The last time I wore a pair of clogs was 1995 maybe? They were a dark brown color and my favorite aspect of it besides the heel/platform were the studs that held attached the leather to the sole. Once I grew out of them my taste in shoes moved on from that style and I eventually saw clogs as outdated. They were popular in the 1970s, briefly in the 1990s, and I assumed I wouldn’t see them gain popularity again for a long time. I was kind of right, I mean, it’s fifteen years later and guess where I first saw clogs reappear? On the Chanel runway. CHANEL. CHA. NEL. Thanks to Karl Lagerfeld he has reignited my love for these beauties with a wooden platform. Sans bellbottom pants.
Now I’m on a quest to find the most affordable pair that I like. I’ve found these but I haven’t fallen in love with any of them, so the search continues…
Aiden and I went to a party last weekend and this weekend we’re invited to a couple July 4th BBQs. Aiden is one popular dude! My friend Todd took some amazing photos of Aiden last week and I’m very eager to show them to you soon.
@thestephers no. No. NO! Lemon bars are one of my favorites!!!!!! and the no-bake thing, a lifesaver for hot summer days. I luh you. http://twitter.com/miss_erma
my body has reset itself. 1 cup of coffee now gives me an all-nighter. never drinking caffeine past 2pm EVER AGAIN http://twitter.com/miss_erma
