Defending my child
Now that I’m taking care of my first child I feel as if I need to defend my baby’s existence in this world. Especially to people who don’t have children of their own. Not to say that I’m going to stop associating myself with all my childless friends, but I will admit I do feel more comfortable being around my friends who have children or I know are good with young ones. I feel like they understand when I talk of my frustrations with parenting and share stories that they can relate to. I don’t want to be that one girl trying to have a conversation with her girlfriends but can’t talk about anything besides what weird or funny things her child did in the last 24 hours. I’m still cool! I’m hip, I’m with the times!
…Right?
Somethingsomething pop culture, somethingsomething I know, right?!
Before Aiden, I loved the freedom of being able to go to Walmart or Target by myself to spend as much time as I wanted there. Everytime I enter the store I’d hear a child having a meltdown in the middle of the store and the mom trying to take care of her kid then thinking to myself, I’m so glad I don’t have children right now!
Now I’m on the other side of that situation. I’m the mom with a child about to have a meltdown. I’m the one having to drop everything to hold my child, do everything in my power to soothe him, to make him feel better. I’m the person who childless people will walk past and think to themselves, I’m so glad I don’t have children right now.
And you know what? It’s okay. It’s life. But I feel like I have to apologize for my baby and explain why he does the things he does. He’s new to this world. He’s fragile. He doesn’t know how to deal with things. You understand, right? You were a baby once. You cried while your mom was trying to shop and she had to put on a brave face while she did what she could to get you through it. Even if it meant allowing you to shake that noisy toy for what feels like 15 minutes straight or whenever the rest of us feel the blood pouring out of our ears just to keep you happy.
I really don’t know where i’m going with this. It’s 1 a.m. and my baby still hasn’t begun sleeping through the night, he has night terrors in the daytime, and I’m perpetually tired. But it’s okay and I love my baby.
